IM BITTER

People have been telling me that I am a bitter person. I use to not see it but now I get it. I just cant understand how Im suppose to not be bitter. Im mad as hell on the inside and when someone pisses me off about one thing all my angrer from everything comes out. Im bitter because me and my sons father had a child but he acted like that never happned. Sure it was 6 years ago but Im not over it hell to be honost I dont think I will ever be. Im mad because I dont get child support and my baby daddy works. So where the fuck is my money?? He sure as hell dont take care of him so he could at least send him some money. Shit! I also get bitter because I made choices in my life that have led me to here which is not somewhere I want to be. I get so mad at myself for the choices that I have made in the past. Im bitter on all the men who have done me wrong in the past. Im bitter because I wish I had more money than I do. There are so many things that upset me and make me a bitter person. Most days I am cool. Then there are days when it just seems that every thing that could go wrong goes wrong and then I tend to get mad about whats making me mad at the time and all the other shit Im holding inside. People tell me to forgive and forget all the time but I just cant seem to do that. They say that it will help me be a better person well I just cant do it.I dont want to be bitter anymore so anyone with any ideas on how not to be so bitter please feel free to comment.

MY KIND OF MAN

My problem is I know what kind of man I want I just cant find him. All the men that I find are the right look but thats all there is. My kind of man is the type of man who I can just be myself around and not have to worry. The kind who will like me for me and accept all my flaws and faults. The kind who will love my son like he were his own. Someone who I can trust. One who will be there for me whenever I need him to be. The kind of man who tells me that I look good even when I know I dont. One who doesnt care if I have a lilttle cottage cheese on my thighs. A man who doesnt care if I put on make up everyday. Who will stand by me in whatever I do. One who doesnt judge. Someone who doesnt care where I live, work, or how much money that I have. A man who has a job. I dont care if he lives at home with his momma as long as he has a job. I dont care if he works at Mickey D's just so long as he works. I want a man who will not judge me for my past. Someone who I can feel safe with. Someone who I know at the end of each day loves me just for me. WHERE IS HE AT???

ARE WE TOGETHER OR WHAT???

Okay so Im confused. Im diggin this guy and I think he likes me to but just dont know to what exent. I see him everyday because we work together and we are just fine at work. I only see him pretty much 2 times a week outside of work. I only see him twice a week because those are the days that I have a little free time to myself without my son. We went to high school together but didnt really know each other that well but since we have been working together we have really gotten to know each other pretty good. So one day he asked me to go bowling. That was fun but at the same time it was kinda weird. We were both nervous. So then it was offical he knew that I liked him and we started talking on the phone and hanging out. After a while I asked him why he hadnt kissed me and he told me that he only kissed if he really liked the person. Okay I could deal with that. Then things became sexual and that was cool but still no kissing. I asked him one day why he could have sex with me but not kiss me? He told me that he would just have to do that when the time was right. Okay. Well this past weekend he went out to the club and got drunk and called me up and he opened up. He told me that I had been looking really hott the past week at work. I thought wow thats sweet. Then he asked me if he could come over and I told him no because I was going to sleep and then he told me I was boring. That hurt my feelings. I dont go out to clubs thats just not me and I have a 6 year old who has sleeping issues and wakes up all hours of the night and I didnt want him to wake up and me not be there. So that was that. Went to work the next day and all was good. Went to his house that night and we were just sitting there and then he kissed me. So I was so happy. Thats what I have been waiting for and it happned. So Im wandering if he's really liking me or what? He told me one day that its hard for him to open up to a woman. He only really opens up when he's drunk and thats not very often, and so I dont want to bring up that conversation. My friend tells me just to roll with it and it will be okay. I want to make sure he is into me before my feelings get hurt. I have told him that I like him a lot and Im just not into having casual sex. I let him know that if I have sex with someone its because I really care and like them. He said okay, he understands. So to me the way I took it was that he likes me to. I just sometimes get these feelings like maybe he's just not that into me. Im so confused.

THESE MEN ARE FINE!!!

WEEZY F BABY!!!!

WAYNE-THE BEST RAPPER ALIVE!!

HAMBONE BABY!!

All I can say is wow. Josh Hamilton is such an inspiration to so many people.If you havnt heard about him or watched a Texas Rangers baseball game then you have been missing out. Josh Hamilton is a very gifted man. He almost threw it all away for drugs. The 4 million dollar man had everything going for him when his life was turned upside down and inside out for drugs. Josh played in the homerun derby in 2008 and he put on a show let me tell you. Check it out on you tube. Wow is all I can say. The man was on fire! Josh was picked in the draft straight from high school. He then went to play with a few different teams and then his drug problem came in to play.He was suspended from playing a few different times. Still he didnt stop. Then one day came and he just was ready to stop before he killed himself. Josh found himself at his grandmas house where she let him the door and that is where he kicked his habbit for good. He eventually found his place back in baseball with the Texas Rangers and is now in the starting line up. Hambone is one of the crowd favorties at the Rangers Ballpark. Im leaving a lot of his story out because people really need to buy his book Beyond Belief. I was a huge fan of his before I read this book, but when I was finished I respected him so much more. He is honestly my role model. I respect him so much for who he is. People also need to check out his you tube videos, I am second.fly. That touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes. The Rangers home season games start on 4-6-09 in Arlington you should go watch this man play. He is a true inspiration. I love you Josh!

What am I suppose to do without Jay Leno on The Tonight Show? Without Headlines? Come on really? May 29, 2009 is the dreadfull day. This is just awful. I'm not a fan of Conan at all he just does'nt have it like Leno. Not even close. Everyone watch him on primetme beginning this fall. His show will be called The Jay Leno Show and will air weeknights at 10 pm (et/pt) on NBC.

Good Luck Jay!